I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize