the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
