so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
