his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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