pop tarts are not kleenex
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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