i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
