I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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