you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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