CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
then he tried to convert me to islam
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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