Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
