There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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