i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
