Me too!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Randomize
