just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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