I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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