you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
