We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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