Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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