Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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