How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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