She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
