I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
