an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
