In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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