Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
