Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
