are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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