He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
