then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
