You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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