The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
