Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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