we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
