She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
