I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
