My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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