It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
