Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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