just come out here and I will go home with you...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
