i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
