I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
