Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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