on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The power of my boobs compel you
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize