She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
