You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
