I faked an abortion last night.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
