The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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