after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
