ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
