stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
