I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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