I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
