I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
