I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
