WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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