He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
