he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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