I must be too annoying 4 u.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
