Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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