walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
