He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Will exercising make me less horny?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
