and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize