the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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